Prayers for Men: Yoel HaCohain ben Henya,
Shalom Charles ben Gracia, Yosef ben Esther, Daniel ben Rivka, Moshe ben
Briendel, Avrum ben Fagel, Moshe ben Bella,
Women: Karen Neshama bas Esther Ruth, Chaya Melecha Rachel bas
Baila Alta, Rachel bas Chana, Hodaya Nirit bas Mazel Yaish, Rivka bas Idit,
Tsvia Simcha bas Devorah Yachad, Miriam bas Irene Taita Malka, Shulamis bas Etta, Chana
Friedel bas Sara, Esther bas Alice, Devorah bas Sara
The following persons are recovering from
long term non-threatening injuries and need Psalms. Binum Benyamin Tuvia ben
Chana Friedel, Avraham HaCohain ben Yocheved, Melech
David ben Sulah Pearla, Golda Shulamis bas Celia,
Parsha Beresheis
For the last 10 years or more, I have attacked the Creation Story
with sources from the Medrash, Scientific Theories and the Pearlman 6 Day story
based on different red shift in measurements. Now it is time to try to combine
all and make some sense out of it. I have yet to read Professor Weinberg’s Book
“The first three minutes”.
I think that this year I will
skip the ancient’s stories about god-figure rulers or some say real fallen
angels, Chanoch walking with HASHEM and the legends of him becoming the angel
Metaron or even Tuval Kayn and the advancement of metallurgy and other
technologies. The first chapter has so much to write about even before the
creation of man. Before there was any time and space there was HASHEM.
The L-RD of the world HE
reigned alone. There is no other besides HIM. Now let us learn about creation.
“If you can't explain it to a six
year old, you don't understand it yourself.” – Albert Einstein quote thanks to
Sheldon.
The concept of relativity in time
and space. I do not want to go too deep into Einstein’s theory of relativity
how one observer views a happening while the other observer is taking a much
longer time. (In a nutshell it is like two subway trains let us say the RR and
the D train pulling out of 14th street going to uptown Manhattan. At
first they appear to be stationary as the 14th street station moves
backwards. As they approach 23rd street the D train sees the RR
going slowly backwards and the observer on the RR sees the D train moving
forward and 23rd street coming towards him.) What we see in
Beresheis is one observation of 15,000,000,000 years and HASHEM in Tehillim
90:4
Indeed, a thousand years are in Your eyes like yesterday that has passed, like
a watch of the night. HE views the
events as passing in 6 days. Everything
is relative to the observer. The one on the platform at 23rd street
views the RR or the D train differently than the observers view him and the
other train depending which train you are on.
I am trying for the first time in
my life to publish a book on the creation theories so I have gone back to past
Drashos to tap all my writings. This is not my first Drasha on Beresheis but
more my present style from 5769:
This
year as a prelude to a deeper Midrashic and Kabbalistic View Next Year, I am
going to look into the Creation Story of Pasha Beresheis from a Scientific and
Religious view of creation. I will argue both the 5769 year literal creation
story and the pros of the billions of year’s story and their relevance inside
of the Torah framework. For this I call upon all my resources from my atheistic
days in Advanced Chemistry Classes at the age of 16 to the books of Prof.
Gerald Schroeder and Professor Nathan Aviezer. Even a memory quote or two from
the writings of a Ben Noach in the book “In Search of Noah’s Ark” which I read
close to 35 years ago.
I
want to start off with the Glatt Kosher writings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe under
the site by the known Kabbalist Dr. Rabbi Ginsburg http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/112083/jewish/Theories-of-Evolution.htm My object here is to open up
the mind of the G-D fearing people to all the physical theories on the creation
of the universe and one need not fear either being literal or not liberal in
the interpretation of the physical creation of the world. Our best example in
the Torah is from Parsha Mishpatim where we interpret Shemos 21:24 eye for eye, tooth for
tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25 burning for burning, wound for wound,
stripe for stripe as monetary compensation and not literal so too perhaps here it
is not literal. I am a wee bit behind in my science in that the latest theory
of the earth being in a stellar bubble or parallel universes are newer theories
and things I have no plan on covering.
Dr.
Aryeh Shore (Zal passed away about 8 years after this was written) wrote on the
Torah Forum: As we have said many times, the written text has numerous
interpretations. Judaism does not have a dogma on what we believe.* We do have the Rambam's 13
principles but as discussed not everyone agreed with them. In any event, no one
ever suggested that when the world was created or in how many days was a dogma.
Otherwise Rashi and the Kabbalists would be heretics!
He even broke down the time line as follows: Theories of creation
time:
1. Hashem's time isn't our time, a thousand years is second before you.
2. Kabbalistic. For a hundred million years the world was created and destroyed. The remnants however remain.
3. Midrashic. Two world's of fire and two of ice preceded this world. Again the remnants remain.
4. Relativistic. Until man is created and stands in one place, everything is happening at the speed of light, so a billion years seems like one second to a fixed observer.
5. Existentialistic. The universe was created in millisecond (Rashi). The six days are just to give the universe a meaning, it was good.
1. Hashem's time isn't our time, a thousand years is second before you.
2. Kabbalistic. For a hundred million years the world was created and destroyed. The remnants however remain.
3. Midrashic. Two world's of fire and two of ice preceded this world. Again the remnants remain.
4. Relativistic. Until man is created and stands in one place, everything is happening at the speed of light, so a billion years seems like one second to a fixed observer.
5. Existentialistic. The universe was created in millisecond (Rashi). The six days are just to give the universe a meaning, it was good.
Yacov Glicksman Zal wrote in his book “Oh What a Fool am I” the
famous clock maker theory. One sees a clock that is ticking away. Somebody made
it and it says 6 O’clock. We do not know if it was just completed and wound up
to 6 O’clock or so and so many billions of years it was placed there. Yacov’s
argument was that the age of the earth is based on Uranium decay into Lead.
Thus we find x amount of lead and y amount of uranium and conclude that the
earth is 4.5 billion years old. But what would happen if 5769 (5779)
years ago the same quantity of uranium and lead were placed on
the planet from the initial creation which took place microseconds before,
would we know the difference?
Professor Natan Aviezer told me that
Professor Weinberg (http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/physics/laureates/1979/weinberg-autobio.html wrote a book called
“The First Three Minutes: A Modern View of the Origin of the Universe”
which covers the start of the Big Bang in a mere 150 pages or more - so
obviously I have not broached the subject but have given one an idea that
processes were going on which would lead to a whole Universe and in a minimum
time frame that makes all the believers happy it is from this point that
literal belief and science divulge as the Stellar Distances make the age
billions of years old unless somebody can show the existence of a time/space
warp due to the big bang itself.
Long before
the start of the initial mass to produce the Big Bang was created from nothing
AYN SOF (THE INFINITE ONE, THE EVERLASTING, THE MYSTERIOUS UNKNOW, THE
UNLIMITED ONE) ruled alone with HIS 10 Attributes. Keter (The Crown), Chachma
(Wisdom), Bina (Understanding), followed by lesser Midos Chessed (Mercy),
Gevurah (Force or Severity), Tiferes (Beauty), Netzsach (Victory), Hod
(Glory),Yesod (Foundation) and Malchos (Kingship). These coincide with 11
dimensions known to the world of physics but our subject today is Creation. [Many of us did not learn more than 4
dimensions in College. It was around the common year 1979 or ’80 that Dr.
Schwartz of Cal. Tech. had articles published in Scientific American that made
this concept public knowledge. In Graduate School or Advance Physics people had
seen the 1923 paper of the famous Klein Bottle describing the 5th
Dimension. As I wrote in my return to Judaism that I discovered phenomena of
dreams that one dreamt of the future and then returned to his own time upon
awakening. This indicated that the human mind had been elevated above the 4th
dimension time either call it ESP, Psychic Phenomena or Prophecy but there was
something in the universe that could travel back and forth in time something
above the 4th dimension. In fact his indicate cosmic unity being
able to go beyond time and three dimensional space into a different time and
back. Recently it was discovered that based on the separation of Galaxies from
the time of the Big Bang masses of atoms and molecules had to have been
transported apart right after the big bang at a speed higher than the speed of
light.]
The Zohar
writes (in more modern terms) that prior to the big bang the little dot that
would be our universe in the darkness the spectrum was place inside by the
CREATOR. The Zohar explains the principle of the rainbow and prism containing
all light in white light.
I read a
little more of the Zohar and realized that until I studied it in depth with the
Sulam Commentary to try to explain things in simple terms to the layman, I
would start sounding like late Philip Berg (I don’t know if he was a Rabbi or
not but certainly was not a Dr. and used his Kabbalah Center as a way to rake
in money from ignorant Jews and non-Jews), who was writing and writing and not
saying too much (Berg was born as Shraga Feivel Gruberger in 1927). The Zohar
explains the concept of the six directions of a three dimensional object aka
length in two directions, width in two directions and height in two directions.
Some other concepts of creation I found interesting but not fully able to
understand them on my part. I therefore write this out on my level of
understanding. The MYSTERIOUS UNKNOWN put
HIS Palace on earth via HIS EMANATION known to us as ELOKIM and the sky by YKVK
one being on the left side and the other on the right side but where the
universe is the shape of a basketball or football the left and the right are in
harmony and relative to the viewer which is left and which is right and part of
ONENESS. ELOKIM formed the earth with Gehennom, Sheol and Avadon inside and
this was in harmony with Gan Eden for in “it was good”. Why would Gehennom and
Death for example be good because man could not declare himself a god like
Hiram or Nebuchadnezzar did for man is mortal. Gehennom is a deterrent for the
wicked from sinning. When the waters were created with ELOKIM hovering over the
face of the deep, there was an emanation of Kael in the lower waters and Kael
Elyon aka ELOKIM in the upper waters. The use of the various names of G-D,
L-RD, L-RD G-D, ALL MIGHTY, etc. by the Zohar as a particular meaning to help
our understanding with praying but starts to become very confusing for simple
people who are not real Kabbalist so I left off here (probably as confused as
most people are).
The rest of
the explanations of the Creation that I am using come from the Medrash Rabbah
on the most part.
*Of the writings above a very
important note from Dr. Shore is that Judaism has no dogma. Without a dogma we
can think freely even question things about HASHEM. In the Medrash the Sages
question why HASHEM created man for perhaps it would have been best if he was
destined to sin not to have been created. However, now that he has been
created, it is best that mankind continues to exist. There are 70 “faces” of
Torah and each year with my own thoughts as I learn more, I see new things. I
recommend also reading the Soncino translation of Medrash Rabbah and even the
Zohar (although without the original or knowing well Hebrew Grammar or using
Gematria one might miss out a lot, still the stories and allegories are worth a
lot). Note:
It should not concern us if HASHEM experimented and created and destroyed
worlds before us as stated in the Kabbalah or that archeologist have found in
the Galil both Neanderthals and modern Humans sharing the same cave at the same
time. What we are interested in is the six days mentioned here and Adam and
Chava originating 5779 years ago.
The whole world seems to agree that there was void and nothing.
Scientists are trying to figure out the mechanism how all the atomic particles
in the universe came to being in a mass so condensed in absolute zero of space
the core had heat 10 with 49 zeroes after it.
Within a few seconds the expanding universe had cooled to 10 with
19 zeroes after it. (Taken from a same of Dr. Weinberg’s book)
This is the initial Big Bang and the energy and matter are super condensed and the size of universe is close to nothing. Our planet at this point and until the third day is just subatomic particles for the first three minutes. Perhaps before or perhaps during these three minutes G-D is gradually the plan of making the earth which is taking shape through the formation of atoms in the 4th minute and during this “day” the first three minutes were dark as mentioned above.
Before there was any time and space
there was HASHEM. The L-RD of the world HE reigned alone. There is no other
besides HIM. I finally got around to reading Genesis and the Big Bang by Gerald
Schroeder PhD. I even think I got the idea behind the Higgs Particle just by
learning Pshat. I do not want to go too deep into Einstein’s theory of
relativity how one observer views a happening while the other observer is
taking a much longer time. (In a nutshell it is like two subway trains let us
say the RR and the D train pulling out of 14th street going to
uptown Manhattan. At first they appear to be stationary as the 14th
street station moves backwards. As they approach 23rd street the D
train sees the RR going slowly backwards and the observer on the RR sees the D
train moving forward and 23rd street coming towards him.) What we
see in Beresheis is one observation of 15,000,000,000 years and HASHEM in
Tehillim 90:4 Indeed, a thousand years are in Your eyes like yesterday that has
passed, like a watch of the night. HE views the
events as passing in 6 days.
The Kabbalah and Dr. Schroeder.
So let’s get started: Dr. Schroeder
begins by quoting the Ramban (Nachmanides) http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/111857/jewish/Ramban.htm In the
beginning out of nothing was created a world smaller than a mustard grain. He
took this from the writings of a Sage who lived around 600 CE. Rabbi Abahu from
the Talmud also talks of this tradition. Prior to the beginning there was no
time that is why he writes that instead of first day being written it is
written one day. The Rambam (Maimonides) before him also wrote that prior to
creation there was no space.
Let us look at what science says
space is and let us see what the Jewish Oral Law says. The scientists since the
publication by Dr. Schwartz of the California Institute of Technology around 1980
wrote a paper talking about 10 dimensions. Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai http://www.ou.org/about/judaism/rabbis/rshimonbaryochai.htm in the
middle of the second century of the Common Era wrote the Zohar. The Sages spoke
of 10 Sefiros with attributes. Based on this the first dimension is Chessed
then Gevura, Tiferes, Netzach. Stopping here we say in Hebrew “HaOlam B’
Chessed Yeboneh” The world is built though Chessed (prayer for rain and dew).
The Medrash has a story how the attribute of mercy was fighting the attribute
of justice. Finally HASHEM threw down the arguments of Mishpat and left on
Chessed to build his world on. The second and third physical dimension is now
in place and the fourth dimension the one the scientists call time is called
everlasting by the Sages Netzach means everlasting. The Kabbala mentions that
in order to create the world, HASHEM had to condense HIMSELF in what we call in
Hebrew Tzimzum. In a three dimensional world we understand that HASHEM has
within the dimensions of the expanding universe with a diameter of at least of
approximately 30,000,000,000 light years and is condensed into a small space
between the Ceruvim (Cherubim) over the Aharon HaKodesh (Ark). In the
scientific world the space between dimensions 5 to 10 are infinitesimal. Sort
of the medieval argument of non-Jewish Theologians “How many angels are on the
head of a pin?” For a Kabbalist they are Hod, Yesod, Malchus, Chachma, Bina and
Da’as with Ayn Sof above them all. Ayn Sof is another name for the L-RD. Hebrew
it is “no end” or “never ending” and finally in modern Hebrew as Infinity.
There is no time, space nor
temperature and when HASHEM is starting to create a new world order. The Zero
that most people know in Centigrade is the freezing of water but absolute zero
when atoms freeze is just a bit less than – 273C or 0 Kelvin. To give you an
idea for temperatures the human body is about 310 K, the surface of the sun is
close to 5800 K and the interior is 15,000,000 K. The initial explosion of the
super condensed universe was a hot 1 with 42 zeroes after it K. Still the
gravity held the mixture together and the photon interaction during the first 3
minutes when the universe was small less than a zero decimal 26 zeros in front
of a 1 of in meters. (There is a book
around 187 pages by Nobel Laureate Stephen Weinberg called the first 3 minutes
that I have to get hold of some day.) Suddenly Ruach ELOKIM was above this
mixture and it expanded to the size of a grapefruit at the start of the 4th
minute. Expansion is a cooling process and the light was able to escape and
stop pushing away the electrons from orbiting Protons and Hydrogen, Deuterium
and Helium formed which would eventually make the sun and the earth.
During this Tzimtzum, the Holy One
Blessed Be HE made the laws of physics and what we call laws of Nature and he
performs miracles within HIS own laws. It is not that the east wind blows on
the sea but goes around the Bnei Yisrael and the velocity picks up to speeds on
the sides that the water parts in two and there are frozen walls of water on
the right and on the left of the Bnei Yisrael. Natural events happen with blood
or blood like water followed by frogs, lice, etc. All of these are within the
laws of nature and physicals but it is a matter at the right time and place
they occur. It is what we call in purchasing “just in time”. If the parts come
too early they have to be stored in the stowage and that takes up space and
labor to place them there and if they come too late the assembly line is
delayed or the supply to the customer is delayed. However, if they occur just
in time everybody is happy. In Shemos we see that the only one who was really
unhappy was Pharaoh.
Atheistic Russian Scientists in the
1930’s CE tried to show how Amino Acids could be created in nature by lightning
strikes. However, for them to form into a genetic chain for even the simplest
life form. In the whole time since creation there have been a 1 followed by 108
zeros of atomic and subatomic events. For a part of the RNA and not even a full
RNA much less a DNA molecule to form we need an accidental meeting of a 1
followed by 110 or more zeros or 100 times greater than the events in the
universe. Even in a laboratory under ideal conditions with us trying to
recreate from amino acids part of a genetic link we have failed even though we
know the existing results. (Prof. Lee Spector formerly of the Weitzman
Institute).
Abahu is quoted in the Talmud as
saying that the L-RD created and destroyed many worlds before creating ours.
For the first three minutes the universe was too hot to make even atoms then
suddenly in the 4th minute is expanded enough to cool off to an
average 4000K that made it possible for protons and electronics to meet and
produce Hydrogen and perhaps some Helium. As the minutes and year progressed
clouds of vapors in space condensed slowly by gravity until a stars and
galaxies were formed. Stars produced fusion and more and more hydrogen was
being fused into helium and slowly the deuterium and helium becoming elements
fused like carbon and oxygen and oxygen combining with hydrogen to form a
compound called water. Thus we see water molecules forming in the first time
period. Stars started exploding over the next 10.5 billion years and spewing
out iron and heavier elements.
Measureable time on earth did not
occur until the 4th day because without a sun and a moon for the
molten full of gas until the 4th day when the sun captured the earth
and the earth captured the moon. I am talking about scientific sense.
The initial earth must have been
very hot and it took a while until the water of the atmosphere condensed. (I
already mentioned Dr. Fred Whipple’s theory that most comets above the
atmosphere aka firmament were dirty snowballs) Now between 4.5 to 3.8 billion
years of the planet the first forms of life are found in sediments in the rocks
on the ocean floor. 700,000,000 years is too short a time span based on the
number of events mentioned in our previous paragraph for life to spontaneous
occurring life forms. Believe what you want but I believe in 1:11 And God said: 'Let the earth put forth … There
was a guiding hand. (I have not yet finished Dr. Schroeder’s book so I reserve
the right to add more commentary in later weeks)
Dr. Schroeder also mentioned that
if the initial Big Bang had produced more than the 75% Hydrogen and close to
25% Helium combination of the universe but a significantly higher amounts of
heavier elements, life on earth most like would have never formed for the whole
temperature and entropy of the Universe would have been different.
God’s creation of the heavens and the earth: But it does not say “of the Lord’s creation of” (i.e., it should say “of the Lord God’s creation of” as below 2:4 “on the day that the Lord God made earth and heaven”) for in the beginning it was His intention to create it with the Divine Standard of Justice, but he perceived that the world would not endure; so He preceded it with the Divine Standard of Mercy, Chessed allying it with the Divine Standard of Justice, and that is the reason it is written: “on the day the Lord God made earth and heaven.”
2 Now the earth was unformed and
void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of God hovered
over the face of the waters.
The Hebrew words Tohu v’ Bohu describe this random movement of particles inside this condensed universe with impossible to imagine heat and energy is so powerful that light is trapped and even an atom can’t form. The potential for an earth as we know it or as the dinosaurs knew it exist but we can’t locate in this Tohu and Bohu mess even the first atoms that will make up the earth.
I am taking an aside note on the whole purpose of Creation. I don’t claim to be a Kabbalist who understands the well of souls. I only know what I learned from the Talmud and interpreting a statement from our morning prayers. U’ B’ Tuvo Mitchadaysh Maaseh Beresheis which means in HIS goodness renews every day the works of creation. The atoms themselves are held together by Ratzono (HIS will) I lost the Pasuk from my head at this moment. The whole purpose of Creation is to raise the mundane level of the Chomer (material) to that of the Ruchanius (spiritual). I will get into this later when HASHEM consults with the future souls of men and says “Let us make man in OUR image.” Now the condition of the world existing as we know it and not going the way of the Dinosaur or Neanderthal was that Adam was to be not only earthly but also spiritual. He was to complete the purpose of creation and go from one of the four spiritual planes into others (based on the Tanya). The initial start-up failed except for Noach and family who found grace.
There were still Tzaddikim left when Avram was born such as Noach, Shem, Ever and perhaps one or two more but man had not yet learned to properly honor HaBoreh (the CREATOR). It was Avraham who saved the day during the time of Migdal Bavel that only a third of the world was destroyed. The Talmud has a new condition since Matan Torah and that is if there are not 36 Tzaddikim to hold up the world from Am Yisrael, the world will return to Tohu v’ Bohu. All HASHEM has to do is take his Ratzono away from the atoms in the universe and the Leptons, Quarks, Photons, W particles, Z particles, Higgs Boson and Gluons will fall apart. FOR NOTHING CAN EXIST WITHOUT A SPIRITUAL COMPONENT. In short there could be a day where HASHEM will not renew Ma’aseh Beresheis!
Two people have told me well over 30 years apart that just before the advent of Moshiach everybody in the world will experience the taste of death for a short time. Those judged worthy will rise to greet the Moshiach. I can only tell you that it is not a matter of the Iranians committing national suicide for all of Islam to triumph over Judaism. Without these 36 Tzaddikim the whole universe will cease to exist.
People sometimes ask in the course of their life – Why am I here? Your purpose like mine is to do your best to raise the mundane to that of the higher spiritual level. Some people drive their Neshama full gas in neutral for their 70 or 120 years. Others go backwards and downhill after power, money, physical pleasures and it is hard to be a Yacov Avinu who never obtained real power except perhaps via Yosef but he was able to enjoy starting from nothing both money, physical pleasures, children and Eretz Yisrael until a short time before his passing. Some of us are put through tests like Avraham Avinu and others just serve as conduits like some of the Roshei Yeshiva and Chassidic Rabbis. Our purpose is to do our best. I know my limits but use my limited knowledge to help and raise others. I want my readers to think what they are doing? Are they fulfilling the desire of their CREATOR or not?
3 And God said: 'Let there be light.' And there was light.
The gravity was too strong in the first 3 minutes for light to escape. As the universe expanded at the tremendous heat, it cooled and the elements became far enough apart for the photons to escape.
Who is to say that at such a release of pressure at high temperatures that our current speed of light or space curvature is the same? I wonder if the pressure release was so great that on the first day that the universe expanded close to its present structure instantaneously. No laboratory can produce such nuclear fusion temperatures like that that are sextillions until a high power of heat that expanded the pressure cooked pea into our universe. REMEMBER NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HASHEM YISBORACH!
4 And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.
Those of you that have followed me for years know that until the 4th day with the sun and the moon there could really be for earth a night and day. Right now on the first day, earth was probably atoms condensing together by the second day with an atmosphere and water but somewhere in space.
What you are viewing here is my attempt with new thoughts to put everything from spontaneous creation in the fossil records and other things into proportion for a book on all the creation theories and the Torah. I have no idea how long it will take me to condense and complete but after reading about the Rabbi in his 70's who could not keep his memory strong enough to write a book perhaps it is now or never. I also plan to try to put in a linear translation of Hebrew and Rashi with the commentary so wish me luck. So after 11 pages I stop here for this year despite the tremendous amount of material and I suggest looking up the archives of the rabbipauli.blogspot.com
Although I did not cover well the 6 day theory this year, I speak of heat and pressure on day one that are unknown in physics today. Did space warp? We were not around either 13.5 billion or 5779 in our bodies then and it could be that souls were created 1000 generations before physical creation from various Medrashim. On these 11 pages I did not have time to justify this but in my book I will hopefully detail all this.
… 27 And God created man in His own image, in the image of God
created He him; male and female created He them.
The end result of creation is the
creation of mankind. Beings capable of talking and creating items by design
from the materials and plants that HASHEM has given them to rule over. That
appears to be the image. Famous Rabbis created a Golem both in the Talmud and the
legendary one in Prague.
28 And God blessed them; and God
said unto them: 'Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue
it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air,
and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.' 29
And God said: 'Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is upon
the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree
yielding seed--to you it shall be for food; 30 and to every
beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that
creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is a living soul, [I have given] every
green herb for food.' And it was so. 31 And God saw every thing
that He had made, and, behold, it was very good. And there was evening and
there was morning, the sixth day.
Struck by a bus. Rabbi Shraga
Simmons
Susan Segal is known
to TV fans for her roles in 1990s sitcoms like Seinfeld, Murphy
Brown, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. But one fine morning
in Los Angeles, Susan appeared on all the networks in a real life-and-death
drama.
She was driving her
daughter to school when a dump truck – parked on a hilly side street – suddenly
rolled into traffic on Hollywood Boulevard. A bus swerved to avoid the truck,
then lost control and crossed the center divider. The bus struck Susan's car
head-on, crushing her car and trapping her underneath the bus in a clump of
twisted metal.
Miraculously, the
Segal's daughter emerged with barely a scrape. But Susan's situation was dire.
She'd broken C2 vertebra that nearly severed the arteries leading to her brain
– the "hangman's injury" so named because death from hanging is
usually from a broken neck (not strangulation). If it doesn't kill instantly, it
typically – as in Christopher Reeve's case – causes full paralysis.
When Susan's husband
Doug – a writer, director and producer of TV shows and feature films – arrived
on the scene, he saw what looked like the set of a Hollywood disaster film. The
street was completely blocked off and filled with fire engines, police cars and
ambulances. News helicopters circled in the sky.
Susan had multiple
broken bones, brain damage, and massive internal bleeding that immediately
threatened her life. To rescue her, emergency crews first needed to somehow
extract the car from under the bus, then cut the roof off the car. All the
while, Susan was waving her one free arm, desperately reaching for help.
"I'm dying! Help me! God, help me!" she cried.
Doug Segal's new book, Struck: A Husband’s
Memoir of Trauma and Triumph, is a heartwarming, insightful, and
courageously honest chronicle of that day and the long recovery that followed.
Doug and Susan spoke
with Aish.com from their home in Hollywood, California.
Miracle of Survival
Aish.com: The
lead doctor said that he'd never seen such a bad neck fracture that didn't have
disastrous consequences. Six years later, Susan is 95 percent recovered.
Susan: It's
a crazy miracle. People die from falling down the steps. The bus was nearly on
my face.
Though I
was unconscious for much of it, I have vivid thoughts of my father and
grandmother there to help. My grandmother was a sweet Russian immigrant who
used to tell me, "Suzallah, you're beautiful." She was
confidence-building at a time when nobody thought about things like that.
So as the
bus crushed against me, my entire body was injured – but nothing happened to my
face. My grandmother was there protecting it. And my father lifted the bus off
me. This experience is very real to me, deep in there. I think about it all the
time.
Helping Hand
Aish.com: The
recovery process was painstaking and incremental. At one point, Susan said,
"Maybe it would have been better if I'd died." What prompted that
thought?
Susan: The
amount of recovery was daunting, like exercising to an unimaginable degree. It
was so much work just to lift my hand. I learned to measure progress not in
days, but in weeks and months.
Doug: I
think it was more than that. The thoughts about death came from a place of
being a burden on me and the family. Susan felt if she was going to be a burden
on everyone to take care of her, maybe it would be better if she just didn't
survive.
Susan: I
thought, "Oh my gosh, am I going to be in a wheelchair and need to be
fed?" I hated that part. I want to be independent. I'm helping you, you're
not helping me. I don't need help.
Doug: We
learned that at some point, we all need help.
Marriage Boost
Aish.com: In
the book, Doug reveals that before the accident, he'd harbored an occasional
fantasy of becoming a widower who "meets someone new, experiences the
excitement of a blossoming relationship, and has a fresh
start" in marriage. Given Doug's relentless devotion to Susan's
welfare, Struck feels like a love story. In the end, did the
accident provide that "fresh start"?
Doug: The
accident was not an epiphany as much as a reminder of how deeply I love Susan.
It reminded me of things I may have taken for granted.
In any
relationship, in any marriage, there are annoyances and aggravations that come
up. When the accident happened, I thought: If this is the end, will I forever
feel guilty for all the unkind, unloving, petty, argumentative, impatient
things I'd said and done?
Just
because there are challenges doesn't mean it's a bad marriage. I think it's
validating for people to read that someone else has the same dark thoughts. It
makes them feel like, "Okay, maybe my dark thoughts are actually human.
Working through things is normal and healthy. Just like this person found light
and love through the dark thoughts, I can, too."
Bigger Picture
Aish.com: Susan
has lifelong scars, pain and mobility issues. All things considered, if you
could do it over again, would you choose to have never had the accident?
Susan: I
think about that when I look up at the stars. From a purely "health"
perspective, I wouldn't want it because of continuing injuries. Right now my
foot is numb and some parts in the morning don't work right. It's something
that never leaves you.
Yet of
course, good things have come out of it. Did my beautiful husband's writing get
noticed? Sure. Do we have a story to tell? Yes. I didn't think it'd be a
"getting-hit-by-a-bus" story, but are there some fascinating things?
Absolutely. There's sadness in having this the rest of my life, but there's a
lot of love in it, too. So although I wish the pain wasn't everlasting, I would
say the pain is somehow worth the good that came out.
Doug: The
most powerful feedback I got from my original emails was that it was helping
others go through their own challenges. So if we can help other people get
through their stuff, then yes, it starts to make it worth it.
Excerpt from Struck:
I'm not sure, even given the choice, whether I'd want to live without
life's heavy weights. The greater the pain we allow ourselves to feel, the
greater the joy we can experience in return, spiking up and down like the EKG
of a heart. Limit the pain and we limit the joy, compressing the lines closer
and closer, flatter and flatter. Without the up-and-down spikes of life's
heartaches and elations, like an EKG in flatline, we cease to live.
Aish.com: Susan,
you survived the unsurvivable. Doctors inserted titanium rods and metal plates
to hold your broken bones, and for the neck injury your head was in a metal
halo, held into place with two-inch screws drilled into your skull. Lying there
with the halo, I imagine you'd pondered the meaning of life.
Susan: Many
people have asked: "What are you going to do now? What is God's plan for
you? You must be saved for something. You must be here for a bigger
reason." That used to drive me crazy, because I thought: Yah, what am I
going to do? Solve world peace? Solve the Palestinian-Israeli conflict? Because
I was hit by a bus, do I have that ability? I wish.
So I think:
What's wrong with what I was doing before? I've always tried to set a good
example for my children, to live a healthy life, to be a good person. I had
good friends and a good marriage. I was living the best life I knew how. Can I
be better? I'll try. Can I do more? I'll try. Could I give more to others? Yes.
Could I be more grateful? Yes.
Doug: In
my estimation, Susan didn't live with a lot of regrets, and then have to go
correct those regrets. She was happy with the life she had and just wanted to
return to that.
Susan: I
think my main contribution is to spread the message that we all face challenges
in life. Everybody’s got their bus. But you can survive something like this –
if you're healthy, think positive thoughts, and have a loving, supportive
community surrounding you. That makes all the difference.
Community Support
Aish.com: Within
hours of the accident, friends had sprung into action preparing meals,
organizing carpools for your two children, and showered you with an outpouring
of love, support, compassion and prayer. How important was this?
Susan: The
way I got better was through humor, love of community, love of family, and
positive thinking. Those are the reasons I'm here.
Doug: It
was a two-way street. I'd send an update, and the next morning have a hundred
emails in response telling me how moved they were by our circumstance; how it
had made other husbands look at their own marriages; how others cherished and
valued their families more; how people were forwarding my emails to friends who
were also going through difficult times and found comfort through our
situation; how people from all around the world, from every religion, were
praying for us. That was exactly where I got my strength to continue.
Aish.com: What
struck you the most about people's reaction?
Doug: So
many people asked, "What can I do to help?" I'd tell them: "Send
positive thoughts, send love, send healing energy," and they'd respond,
"Sure, I'll do that. But do you need a meal?" The meal was a tangible
way to show they care. "Here's a gift" or "Here's a meal"
is a safer way of expressing love. Handing over a casserole is less vulnerable
than showing up and verbalizing, "Wow, I love you." For me, I don't
need the physical object. The showing up to be there with us, that's what you
give me.
Susan: The
accident gave people an opportunity to be loving and show that side. Maybe we
don't give others enough opportunity to do that. I'm convinced that so many
people caring is why I'm alive today.
Doug: Because
the accident was so public in the news and in our community, it was easier than
suffering silently through a private trauma, where people don't know to come
forward and say, "What can I do for you?" People really do care, and
that was a really wonderful validation through all this. As divided as we can
be, especially today, in moments of crisis and adversity, people put aside that
stuff and the goodness of people's hearts come out.
Supporting Characters
Aish.com: I
understand the total hospital bill was $7.5 million. Did you ever hear anything
from the truck driver that caused this?
Doug: A
friend of mine was at a convention for the construction industry and saw a
former colleague who seemed really down. My friend said, "What's going on?
You seem upset." The man said, "A few months ago I was involved in a
horrible accident. My truck rolled into Hollywood Boulevard and people were
badly injured. It's been really hard for me." When my friend told him that
Susan survived, he was greatly relieved.
Aish.com: Why
didn't he ever contact you?
Doug: Apparently
because his insurance company and lawyers told him not to, since that is
legally admitting fault. That's the sad thing. We get in the way of people's
humanity, and they have to live without ever being able to say, "Hey, I'm
really sorry. I know it's impacted you terribly, and I feel horrible about
that." It doesn't allow them to gain forgiveness, which is important in
allowing people to move on.
Susan: One
of the coolest parts of this whole experience is when an ICU nurse came running
over to me in the supermarket parking lot: "Aren't you the one hit by the
bus!?" There was great beauty in seeing her excitement when I say,
"Yes, it's me, and here I am!"
Doug: Emergency
personnel often don't get to hear the end of the story. We met one fireman who
said, "I cut the roof off the car. I didn't know whether you lived or not.
After I cut the roof and pull out a body, I never know what happens."
He rescued
Susan from the crumpled wreckage and figured she'd never make it. Now he sees
her standing there with life and humor, it makes him feel like, "Okay, I
had a good day."
Celebrate Life
Aish.com: There's
an expression: "Live life to the fullest today because tomorrow you may
get hit by a bus." Has the accident changed your daily outlook?
Doug: Susan
never saw herself as a victim. A physical therapist who came to our house had
never met Susan but had reviewed her medical records. With her list of
injuries, he expected to find someone writhing in pain, curled into a ball
unable to move, perhaps even unable to communicate. So when he walked in and
found a cheery, energetic Susan, he looked confused, like he had walked into
the wrong home. He double-checked his clipboard, "Wait, you're the one who
was hit by the bus, right?"
Susan: People
would expect me to be so hurt and so down. Their reactions were very revealing.
I could tell who was really in my corner, and others whose anxieties and fears
came through when they'd see me.
Doug: At
the beginning, many of our friends were like, "How different is she going
to be? She had such a spirit of life. Is that now zapped from her?" It's
often true that a traumatic event changes people. What's remarkable with Susan
is that it didn't beat her down.
Doug: At
our High Holiday services, there's a part where the rabbi says, "Anyone
with something to celebrate, please come up." So people get up and say
they had a grandchild or got a new job. The year after the accident, I said to
Susan and said, "You've got to go up." She was reluctant but agreed.
When it was her turn, she uttered, "I'm alive?" The whole room roared
in applause.
Susan: It
was just an honest reaction. People still come up to me about that moment,
because I think it validated living. Simply living. That is the greatest gift
we have. We just don't recognize it.
Doug: Also,
it had a little question mark of inflection at the end, like, "I don't
have a new baby or a new job. But I have everything because I'm alive. Do I
need more than that?"
Aish.com: What
will you be thinking at the High Holidays this year?
Susan: When
we're sitting in services, it's a reconnection. We're lucky to have each other
in that moment. I love that we're sitting together as a community praying. To
me, that is more Godly than almost anything else.
And when we
get to that emotional part of the service (Nesaneh Tokef), I
always think, "Who shall live and who shall die? Who by fire, who by
water... and who shall get hit by a bus."
Excerpt from Struck:
When I was in college and living in New York City, there was a news story
about someone who got hit in the head and killed by a brick that fell off of a
construction site. With all the scaffolding I walked under on a daily basis,
that easily could have been my brick, my head. Living in fear of that is surely
unhealthy and can be debilitating, but there's a balance to be found knowing
that, even though it's unlikely, it's still a possibility. An awareness of all
the random acts of tragedy that populate today's world demands a sense of
appreciation and gratefulness when they don't fall upon us.
Last year, Susan and I planned a trip to take the kids to Paris. A week
before we were set to leave, the terrorist attack at the Bataclan theater
occurred. We were nervous about going but ultimately decided not to cancel.
In the London airport, while we were transferring to our flight to Paris,
we began a conversation with two women. When they asked us where we were going,
we hesitantly said, "Paris." They looked at us and with lilting accents,
said, "We have to live for today because you never know… tomorrow you
might get hit by a bus."
Please pray
for Susan's full recovery – Sara Blima bat Leah.
Struck is available on Amazon and at
local bookstores.
Look for
Doug and Susan on the Today Show, October 2, 2018.
Mexican
Jewish Community still reeling from quake. http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/252298
J.K.
Rowling – villain is antisemite. https://www.timesofisrael.com/in-j-k-rowlings-new-novel-a-villain-is-an-israel-hating-anti-semite/
Rabbi
bans use of train system because it was violation of Shabbos. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5359135,00.html
Inyanay Diyoma
Rod
Rosenstein and the Deep State trying to take down President Trump. http://video.foxnews.com/v/5838403942001/?playlist_id=2114913880001#sp=show-clips
Iranian
attack 29 dead scores injured. https://www.timesofisrael.com/iran-blames-foreign-regime-and-their-us-masters-for-deadly-parade-attack/, https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5356087,00.html
Explosive
balloons Gazan Fishing Zone reduced. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5355965,00.html
If
PLO pays terrorist family money, their aid is reduced. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5355927,00.html
And
Electronic Warfare. https://www.debka.com/russia-declares-electronic-war-on-israel-ranging-over-syria-e-mediterranean/
S-300
Israel will think twice before attacking. http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/252427
EW
systems reach Syria. https://www.debka.com/russias-first-krasukha-4-electronic-warfare-unit-lands-in-syria-it-can-jam-spy-satellites-enemy-radar/
Rabbi
bans use of train system because it was violation of Shabbos. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5359135,00.html
From
Dov the court of Public Opinion. https://babylonbee.com/news/united-states-justice-system-to-close-all-brick-and-mortar-locations-operate-exclusively-on-twitter
Russia
goes ahead with S-300 and upgraded anti-aircraft missiles. https://www.debka.com/russia-ramps-up-anti-israel-measures-in-syria-for-possible-war-of-attrition/
Israeli
family almost lynched by Israeli Arabs. http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/252544
From
Ingrid the Jerusalem March where Christians come like in Zachariah to
Yerushalayim during Sukkos. https://players.brightcove.net/590066524001/default_default/index.html?videoId=5841527045001
Egypt
– Israel gas partnership. A few years ago we imported gas from Egypt now it’s
export. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5360651,00.html
Hamas
appears to be on an escalation of violence – analysis. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5360652,00.html
Israeli
left misguided an editorial. https://www.israpundit.org/into-the-fray-israels-left-as-a-jilted-lover/
Strategic
victory for Iran. https://www.debka.com/strategic-breakthrough-for-iran-in-unimpeded-drone-missile-attack-on-e-syria/
Minister
says we can defeat S-300. http://www.israelhayom.com/2018/10/04/israeli-minister-we-can-defeat-russian-supplied-s-300-air-shield-in-syria/
Ed-Op
report says the same. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5363326,00.html
PLO
strangling Gaza https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5363978,00.html
8
yr. old throws knife at soldiers. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5363688,00.html
Orange Alert on Gaza Border. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5363688,00.html
Iranian
missiles a warning to the west. https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5362602,00.html
Europe
turning black and Sweden will be Islamic an analysis. http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/22794
Ed-Op
non-leftist general? http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/252750
Have a wonderful Shabbos,
Rachamim Pauli
