Friday, November 25, 2016

Parsha Chayei Sarah, Rabbi Frand, Story

Parsha Chayei Sarah

This week’s Parsha according to our Sages of blessed memory takes place precisely after the Akeda of Yitzchak. As I wrote the Pshat returns them to Beer Sheva and on top of that Yitzchak is called a “youth” but so is Eliezer according to the Medrash so is no proof towards my argument.

We start out with the passing of Sara Emaynu and the details of the purchase of an honorable burial spot. We continue on the preparations for the marriage of Yitzchak and finding a woman of good family and Midos (characteristics) to marry. Our Parsha ends with the passing of Avraham Avinu which includes Yishmael participating in the burial and mourning. This indicates the removal of all idols that he might have had once per the Medrash.

23:1 And the life of Sarah was a hundred and seven and twenty years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. 2 And Sarah died in Kiriat Arba--the same is Hebron--in the land of Canaan; and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.

This whole section of the Torah deals with honoring the deceased. Proper mourning and an honorable burial.

… 7 And Abraham rose up, and bowed down to the people of the land, even to the children of Heth.

Perkei Avos asks, “Who is honored? It is a man that honors all creatures (creation).” Here we see that Avraham humbles himself to honor these idol worshippers. It is also written, “Receive all people with a good face.” (my translation)

…16 And Abraham hearkened unto Ephron; and Abraham weighed to Ephron the silver, which he had named in the hearing of the children of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, current money with the merchant.

He should have taken it for free or claimed it as his land but because he purchased it, Yacov purchased Schem and David Yerushalayim these spots are the center of contention today.

17 So the field of Ephron, which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre, the field, and the cave which was therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the border thereof round about, were made sure 18 unto Abraham for a possession in the presence of the children of Heth, before all that went in at the gate of his city. 19 And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah before Mamre--the same is Hebron--in the land of Canaan.

We see that at first we purchase a burial plot and then bury the dead.

20 And the field, and the cave that is therein, were made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a burying-place by the children of Heth.

It becomes public knowledge that this is burial area or grave yard of Avraham and family.

24:1 And Abraham was old, well stricken in age; and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. 2 And Abraham said unto his servant, the elder of his house, that ruled over all that he had: 'Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh.

To swear by the Bris Kodesh. Other commentaries state that it is swearing that if violated what has come out and will come out of his loins will avenge him including Yishmael and the Bnei Ketura.

3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell.

Finding a wife from a good family is essential. But more import is a wife with good Midos. We shall observe that Eliezer chooses Chessed as the most important Mida of Avraham, so he looks to see if Rivka has it.

4 But thou shall go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son, even for Isaac.'

This shows that one must be precise for this is a Shidduch not for Yishmael but for Yitzchak.

5 And the servant said unto him: 'Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land; must I needs bring thy son back unto the land from whence thou came?'

I have not heard that Avraham had other servants before Eliezer but he was rich enough to have many. Eliezer is very intelligent and thus given over to be the head of his household and chief servant. I understand also from the story line here that one man does not take ten camels laden with so much goods by himself.

6 And Abraham said unto him: 'Beware thou that thou bring not my son back thither. 7 The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house, and from the land of my nativity, and who spoke unto me, and who swore unto me, saying: Unto thy seed will I give this land; He will send His angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife for my son from thence. 8 And if the woman be not willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath; only thou shalt not bring my son back thither.' 9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter.

Eliezer is an intelligent servant but only a “yes man” in part. He negotiates all conditions with his boss to do the will of the boss.

I had plans to go into more details about the proper Shidduch and the importance of marriage but I decided to take this week’s Drasha from Rabbi Y. Frand Shlita and copy it. It is missing the first part so worth reading:

The section that I took is “Our Shidduch Crisis”.

The Parsha deals with the episode of Avraham Avinu sending Eliezer on the most important mission of his life – to find an appropriate mate for Yitzchak. The future of Klal Yisrael depended on this match. The narration records that Avraham makes Eliezer swear that he will not take a girl of Canaanite lineage. As we have explained many times in the past, Avraham knew that Canaanite personality traits (Midos) were not what he wanted in his daughter-in-law.
Avraham further instructed his servant not to take Yitzchak back to the land of Avraham’s birthplace and family: “Hashem, G-d of the heavens, Who took me from the house of my father and from the land of my birth; and Who spoke concerning me, and Who swore to me saying, ‘To your offspring will I give this land’; He will send His angel before you, and you will take a wife for my son from there.” [Beresheis 24:7].
Rashi notes that in Chapter 24 Pasuk 3 Avraham uses the expression “I will have you swear by Hashem, G-d of the heavens and G-d of the earth” but in Pasuk 7, a scant 4 Pasukim later, Avraham merely invokes the name of “Hashem, G-d of the heavens…” without any reference to G-d also being the “G-d of the earth”. Why is this so? Rashi says (on pasuk 7) “…now – at this moment in history – he is the G-d of the heaven and the G-d of the earth for I have familiarized Him in the mouth of the people (i.e., for I have put people in the habit of mentioning him); but when He took me from my father’s house, He was G-d of the heavens, but not G-d of the earth, for those who lived in the world did not recognize Him.
I saw an interesting observation in the Sefer Shemen HaTov from Rav Dov Weinberger. Is Avraham bragging to Eliezer? Is he saying, “You, know Eliezer, it is only because of me that G-d is now considered G-d of Heaven and G-d of earth as well!”? This is not Avraham Avinu. He is not boasting and he is certainly not boasting in front of Eliezer. So why does he stress “and G-d of the earth”?
Avraham Avinu was telling his servant, “Eliezer, now you are going to go do something called ‘finding a Shidduch’ for my son. In order to find a Shidduch, you need not only an Elokai haShamayim (G-d in Heaven), but you need an Elokai haAretz (G-d of the earth) as well. Shidduchim come about because of the direct involvement of the Ribono Shel Olam. You cannot do this on your own and we cannot do this on our own, we need the involvement of the Master of the World.
As the Chazon Ish once said, in our day and time, when the Divine Providence of G-d is so often hidden, there is still one area of life where we can see the direct involvement of the Ribono Shel Olam. That is in marriage matches. We see that indeed “marriages are made in heaven”.
Here on the threshold of sending his servant to find a match for his son, Avraham mentions that Hashem is the G-d of Heaven and also the G-d of earth. He is personally and actively involved in all that happens in helping us make our Shidduchim.
This brings me to the following comment. As everyone painfully knows, there is a phenomenon that impacts our community that is commonly called “the Shidduch crisis”. Unfortunately, there are hundreds if not thousands of singles in our community who want to get married but have not yet able to do so. While this is a problem that affects both boys and girls, it seems to be a much greater problem when it comes to girls.
I constantly receive calls inquiring about different boys in the Yeshiva. I can many times hear the panic and terror in the parents’ voices when they have an older daughter and she still has not yet found a Shidduch. It is in fact a terrible crisis. Some time ago, a group of people joined together and initiated what is referred to by the acronym N.A.S.I. – The North American Shidduch Initiative.
Everyone has different theories as to the source of the problem. N.A.S.I. arranged for a group of actuarial scientists to ‘crunch the numbers’. They came up with the theory that the shidduch crisis is being exacerbated by the fact that boys tend to marry girls that are several years younger than them. The problem, they feel, derives from the rapid growth of the ‘frum‘ community. If one assumes a 3.5 – 4.5% growth rate per year and a 2.5 – 3.5 year gap between the age when boys are getting engaged and when girls are getting engaged, the mathematical basis for the problem is evident:
If we assume a 4% growth rate per year, 100 ten year olds there will be 104 nine year olds and 108 eight year olds. So if boys on the average marry at age 23 and girls on the average marry at age 20, this means that for every 100 boys there will be 112 girls. This translates into a community that has a serious problem. The math decrees that there will be girls “left out” if all boys marry girls younger than themselves.
To solve this problem, N.A.S.I.’s goal is to encourage boys to marry girls that are closer in age to themselves and even to marry older girls. This is something tangible that can be done to address this problem. True the Ribono shel Olam is involved in the process, but we need to make our own efforts. Therefore by encouraging this shift in mindset as to what age girls and boys should consider marrying, we are doing something tangible to solve this problem.
N.A.S.I. is offering monetary rewards to people who make shidduchim where the boys are closer in age to the girls they marry or even younger than them. Whenbochrim in the Yeshiva come to me and ask me this question – and I get thisshaylah very often – “Is there anything wrong with marrying a girl who is older than me”, I tell them the following fact: Rebbetzin Neubereger, ob”m, was older than Rabbi Neuberger ob’m and that Rabbi Neuberger even then was a smart man. To my knowledge, they had a wonderful marriage. In short, there is nothing wrong with going ahead with such a shidduch. So what if a girl is six months or even a year older than her chosson? Even two years older, so what? Actuarially, men live fewer years than women. What is the problem?
This is an idea that is important to discuss on Parshas Chayei Sarah, the parsha ofShidduchim. We should have this idea in mind and people who have sons of marriageable age should encourage them to marry girls that are near their age or even older. Let us all take these ideas to heart and hopefully help contribute to the solution of this very painful problem.

I have a blanket permission to use material from Project Genesis my giving credit to

… 6 But unto the sons of the concubines, that Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts; and he sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country.

They most likely called themselves Abraham followers and it became A Braham to Brahman. One of the gifts was astrology another palm reading.

7 And these are the days of the years of Abraham's life which he lived, a hundred threescore and fifteen years. 8 And Abraham expired, and died in a good old age, an old man, and full of years; and was gathered to his people. 9 And Isaac and Ishmael his sons buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron the son of Zohar the Hittite, which is before Mamre; 10 the field which Abraham purchased of the children of Heth; there was Abraham buried, and Sarah his wife. 11 And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son; and Isaac dwelt by Beer-lahai-roi.

Yishmael went his way and Yitzchak remained in the land.

12 Now these are the generations of Ishmael, Abraham's son, whom Hagar the Egyptian, Sarah's handmaid, bore unto Abraham. 13 And these are the names of the sons of Ishmael, by their names, according to their generations: the first-born of Ishmael, Nebaioth; and Kedar, and Adbeel, and Mibsam, 14 and Mishma, and Dumah, and Massa; 15 Hadad, and Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedem; 16 these are the sons of Ishmael, and these are their names, by their villages, and by their encampments; twelve princes according to their nations. 17 And these are the years of the life of Ishmael, a hundred and thirty and seven years; and he expired and died; and was gathered unto his people. 18 And they dwelt from Havilah unto Shur that is before Egypt, as thou go toward Asshur: over against all his brethren he did settle.

Pasukim 12 to 18 are only of interest to us for the marriage of Esav and the tents of Kedar with Yael and Sisra in the story of Barak and Devorah in Sefer Shoftim (Judges).

News Story from Judith: Good News as the critically injured Kallah from the Egged 402 bus accident which occurred in February 2015,
Sara Sperling, is scheduled to go to her Chupah next week B’ezras Hashem with her chosson Kobi Kastinlitz.
Sperling was hospitalized for a very long time and underwent many difficult surgical procedures to save her hand and foot and in recent months, she has been undergoing difficult painful rehabilitation. Kobi was injured in the accident too, but B’chasdei Hashem far less serious and he has recuperated and has been busy assisting his kallah through this most difficult period in her life.
The family reports the young couple has been through a great ordeal and there is a long road ahead but they are happy to report that Sari is standing and walking. Her hand is not functioning and they continue being mispallel for a Refuah for Sara bas Dina. The chasenah is scheduled to take place in the main hall of Binyanei Ha’uma on Wednesday, 29 Cheshvan, a year after the engagement and exactly ten months from the date of their original chasenah, 29 Adar 1

A valuable book sale by Rabbi Y. Tilles

There was once a rich man who was a chasid of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev. When his son reached the proper age to marry, he came to the Rebbe to ask if he knew of a suitable girl. "I am more than willing to provide her with a trousseau and to support the young couple.
The only thing important to me is that she be from a chasidic family."

The Rebbe thought for a moment and then replied, "Yes, I think I know the right girl. One of my chasidim has a daughter who, I think, will make a fine wife for your son. I suggest you come back to Berditchev for the holidays, when the man will be visiting here for most of the month. The two of you can meet and discuss the matter then."

At the time, there lived in Berditchev a poor man who was a bookbinder by trade. His most valuable piece of merchandise was a very old book that was worth a large sum of money. Although he had been trying to sell it for some time, he was unable to find an interested buyer with enough money to purchase the volume. His friends suggested that he wait until the holidays, when one of the Rebbe's wealthiest chasidim would be coming to Berditchev. Perhaps he would be interested in acquiring the book.

However, when the time came to approach the rich man, the bookbinder was overcome with shyness. He decided to send his daughter with the book as his emissary. The girl dressed in her finest Shabbos clothes and went to the inn where the wealthy chasid was staying. Her father had instructed her to show him the valuable book and to ask if he was interested in buying it.

When the girl appeared at his door, the rich man assumed that she was the one the Rebbe intended for his son. Most certainly she had come so he could see her for himself, he thought. Her father must have sent her on this errand so she would not feel uncomfortable, not revealing to her the true reason for her visit.

The man began to question her about her family, and was delighted with her answers. He invited the girl for tea, and sent word for her father to join them. When he arrived, the rich man told the astonished bookbinder that he was delighted to have found the perfect girl for his son. The couple wed.

Sometime later, the wealthy Chasid came to the Rebbe to thank him for his wonderful suggestion. When Rabbi Levi Yitzchak heard the whole story, he remarked, "It appears that one cannot change anything that has already been decreed above."

Source: Adapted by Yerachmiel Tilles from the excellent rendition of Basha Majerczyk, in her translation of "Extraordinary Chassidic Tales" by Rabbi Rafael Nachman Kahn, volume 2.

Biographical note:
Rabbi Levi Yitzchak (Deberamdiger) of Berditchev of blessed memory: 5500 - 25 Tishrei 5571 (1740 - October 1810)] is one of the most popular rebbes in chasidic history. He was a close disciple of the Maggid of Mezritch. He is best known for his love for every Jew and his active efforts to intercede for them against (seemingly) adverse heavenly decrees. Many of his teachings are contained in the posthumously published, Kedushat Levi.

She had two years where she could have married now there is a question. For had she married nobody would be able to separate them.

Inyanay Diyoma

I started compiling the news as usual Motzei Shabbos. The weather dominated the news in more way than one. The winds came out of the southeast at high velocity and cutting the humidity to 5% making things dry and arid. This left our forests for tinder waiting for a campfire or some Arab Arsonists. It did not take long with fires everywhere except in most of Yehuda and the Shomron or close to the green line so the burn will be towards our Yeshuvim. As of Thursday afternoon all three TV stations and radio stations went on war footing and news broadcasts almost constantly.

Journalist who accompanied 1000 Holocaust Victims and also photographed Cyprus Detentions of a Boat that inspired Leon Uris passes away at 105 years.

VP elect Pence has some Orthodox Jewish Cousins:

Gazans try to and succeed in cutting the fence, one Shachid places an IED.

Small quake just when I decided to take my wife to the Kinneret.

Nephew of Arab Deputy Police Commission is murdered by another Arab.,7340,L-4881119,00.html

Iranian Sanctions more on the agenda with new CIA pick.

Without Hillary, the French no longer think too much of the peace conference.,7340,L-4881534,00.html

Ben Dror Yemeni Ed-Op on a prayer for silence from the 4 AM sound blasters.,7340,L-4881591,00.html

To save yourself if you are unarmed and other lives are in danger is one thing but the reverse and let others lose their lives and flee is unbecoming a soldier all the more so an officer.,7340,L-4881812,00.html

An assassination plot and bus terrorism in Egypt uncovered:

I don’t fly El Al, they did not honor their frequent flyer points for me and I was delayed on too many flights now this:,7340,L-4881841,00.html

Hezballah does the fighting for Assad and makes the war into a Sunni-Shia war.

Secret talks with Trump-Putin and Israel, Yarden and Syria to reinstate the status-quo ante that existed with a quiet northern border. As I have written for years, it has been in our interest that Assad keep the border stable and quiet as it was since the cease-fire of 1973. Because of the war, the talk of leaving the Golan has dissipated.

More terrorists capture in raids:

Ben Carson reconsiders if offered post.

ISIS using human shields in Iraq:

Arms smuggling vessel to Gaza sunk:,7340,L-4882716,00.html

Terrorist attempts to stab policeman.,7340,L-4882615,00.html

Trump should condemn white supremists:

And he does condemn the extremist  supremists:

Black housing matters to Trump who will rebuild a great America Again.

Fires driven by fierce winds in central and northern Israel in many cases Arab arson suspected.,7340,L-4883045,00.html

Arson suspected as fires break out near Khirbata, Beit Sira, Beit Ur Tachta threatening the outskirts of Modiin and main thoroughfare 443 blocked towards the capitol.

As 200 wild fires suddenly spring up, police presence reinforced reserves called up to fight fires.

Third day of Arson as a second fire breaks out in Modiin and many neighborhoods in Haifa and near Natzeret Illit.,7340,L-4883634,00.html

Three suspects may have been apprehended as at least 10 houses burn. In Haifa the evacuees reach 85,000.

France 1: Terror attack on Paris and Euro-Disney foiled:

France 2: Old Age Caretaker murdered:

It took the politicians time but they called for the Super-Tanker:,7340,L-4884096,00.html

Ed-Op please no more “peace” process.

Good Shabbos all have a healthy and peaceful one,
Rachamim Pauli